Three weeks in...

I know I've been slacking with the blog but I've been a little (a lot?) stressed. Taking three classes over the course of four weeks may have been a pretty bad idea, but I'm now in the trenches and attempting to make it out. No one really needs a daily update on my life (I slept! I ate! I got sick! I drank!), so I'll just give you the highlights of my summer in Prague.

THE WORLD CUP
Be still, my sports-hating heart. I know everyone who reads this knows I can't stand athletics in any form, but for some reason, I fall head-over-heels in love with the World Cup every four years. Maybe it's the fact that soccer/football is the one sport I've ever played, or maybe it's the fact that it lets me embrace my inner nationalist, but I live for the World Cup. I have vivid memories of sneaking off to watch matches during camp in 2006 (as my wife Ori Levy reminded me, the vivid memories are of us almost getting fired because we preferred to watch David Beckham over actually dealing with our campers. Sweet memories). Now, six hours ahead, I've gotten pretty lucky in that I've been able to make it to 90% of the matches I care about.

Hyundai set up a Fan Park in the middle of Old Town Square, which, for better or for worse, means I always knew what was happening. It was nice to not have to schlep out to a bar or something to watch. Amanda and I caught some of the daytime games at Riegrovy Sady, a lovely beer garden out in Prague 3, but most of our time was spent in Old Town.


The Dutch invaded Prague and let me join their ranks.

So yeah, I cheered for England and then they got rightfully crushed, and I cheered for Germany and then they got unfairly beaten, and then I went all the way for Holland and they lost in overtime. Maybe my support is the kiss of death. Who knows. But anyway, the World Cup let me make a lot of new friends and we bonded over our shared hatred of Germany... Argentina... Spain... and Spain again. It's a lovely thing.

LUCERNA
Lucerna holds 80s/90s night every weekend. Amanda and I have made it a tradition of pregaming, attending, and running shit. Because we can.

DRESDEN
I'm not sure what mental state we were in, but last Saturday morning, over a pathetically large breakfast feast at McDonald's, Amanda and I decided that it was a brilliant idea to go to Germany for the day. Her sister was there and I just wanted to see the west because for better or for worse, Prague is still kind of behind the Iron Curtain. We were still kind of buzzed when we bought the tickets and boarded the train, and it took a 2.5-hour-long train ride, riding backwards with no air at all, to sober up. Still, though, very glad we went-- Dresden is a lovely city and seeing my beloved American Apparel was wonderful. We even caught bits and pieces of the Germany-Uruguay game, which is kind of a half-assed version of my dream of going to Berlin for the final game had they made it to the end. Dresden for the third-place game is a bit of a cop-out, I guess.

MARRIAGE
I got engaged to my Italian friend Fede at his going-away party. Our love will forever be cemented by our wedding dance to "Single Ladies." Well, he liked it, and he put a grimy string ring on it at a grimy club. Fede, love, because I know you read my blog from time to time-- CALL ME. I want to come to Venezia in a week or so for our honeymoon. I want to make it happen.

SCHOOL
I'm going to quote Lady Gaga on this one:
"She's a mess. Now the girl is stressed. She's a mess. She's a mess. She's a mess. She's a mess."

One week left! Will I go to Munich? Brussels? Venice? Or will I actually stay in this painfully hot city and work? Only time will tell...

The round-up

Sorry, guys. It’s been a long, long month that involved major illnesses, major hangovers, and major paper writing, so you didn’t get recaps of any of my final three trips. Luckily Coral Springs might be the most boring place on earth, so now I finally have time. Brace yourselves.

Turkey: The final Classroom Europe trip was to Istanbul, Turkey, possibly one of the coolest places ever. It was SUNNY AND WARM. Blah blah Hagia Sofia, Blue Mosque blah blah blah, IT WAS HOT AND SUNNY AND THEREFORE PERFECT. Turkish Airlines is decked out in Miami Vice-style colors, and the airplane wine rocks so I was perfectly happy. There are tulips everywhere and palm trees and the Mediterranean suddenly skyrocketed in my book. I roomed with Stephanie and Amanda and we got what was easily the best room in our awesome hotel: wrap-around balcony, views of the Blue Mosque and the Bosporous, and a Jacuzzi.

I kept trying to make comparisons to Jerusalem because it was heretofore the only place in the region I had been to before but it was too hard. The culture is kind of similar (everyone wants to feed you, always) but beyond that, it’s just too different. Istanbul is completely overwhelming and full of people and cars and noise and it’s fantastic but just kind of sensory overload. Did all the touristy stuff – Hagia Sofia, Blue Mosque, the stupid, overrated, overpriced Grand Bazaar – but I liked the Asian side of the city more, where it was more Turkish people and fewer Australian backpackers. Not that I don’t like Australian backpackers – I appreciate all citizens of the Commonwealth – but I like the less touristy parts of the city more. The Asian side of the city was super crowded and overwhelming and packed with people and we took a super-cool ferry to get there.

Everyone is super friendly, especially to girls. My trying to order takeaway coffee led to me and Amanda being invited to sit for coffee, ice cream, and Turkish delight by the Hagia Sofia for some time with a barista/soccer player. It’s incredibly rude to say no, so hey, what the hell, our tour group at Topkapi Palace would wait. Or not. But whatever. I got a few marriage proposals and a few phone numbers. Due to the possibility that I might have had pink eye, those numbers were never used, but it was nice.

Made it to Taksim Square where tons of police in riot gear were massing and because Samantha, Amanda and I didn’t speak any Turkish, we had no idea why. Turns out they were bracing themselves for a possible riot because President Obama was maybe/maybe not going to acknowledge the Armenian genocide, as it was the 95th anniversary of its inception (turns out he didn’t). I, for one, wanted to fulfill my lifelong dream of getting stuck in a nationalist riot but Samantha, as trip babysitter, wasn’t really feeling it. Wine happened instead, which is always a nice alternative. It was weird because the only women we ever saw out and about were European – Turkey is very secular but it’s still an Islamic society without the shariah law and all that fun stuff. Never saw Turkish women out at restaurants or anything, which was a bit disconcerting, but whatever.

England: Went to London for my birthday weekend: three shows, two days, one license to drink in EVERY STATE IN THE WORLD… except for the ones where alcohol is banned, but they don’t count.

The Real Thing, my Saturday matinee show, was one of the best productions I’ve ever seen, and that’s not just because Toby Stephens is outrageously hot and I had a front-row, center seat. It was beautiful and moving and three weeks later and I’m still a bit overcome by it, but two points to the Old Vic for a fantastic production.

Priscilla Queen of the Desert: I wasn’t as drunk as I hoped to be despite the strawberry daiquiri in my light-up martini glass, but the show was campy and fun and full of three of my favorite things: Australians, drag queens, and bad pop music. I loved it and can’t wait to see Will Swenson play Tick in New York.

Women Beware Women: No trip to London is complete without a pilgrimage to the National Theatre, home of my all-time favorite play, The History Boys. This one was even more special because this play starred Samuel Barnett, one of the original History Boys. I knew nothing about Jacobean drama but the play was fantastic, really sexy and also starring Dudley Dursey from Harry Potter so like my West Wing cast bingo, I can now check off another HP actor.

So I hoofed it to Victoria Station straight from the show, nearly missed my bus to Luton, made it to Luton, barely checked in on time, and oh wait, my flight’s delayed indefinitely due to volcanic ash. Cool. Oh, also, Wizz Air won’t let me board with my bag despite the fact that they said it was okay as a carry-on at check in. Douchebags. But whatever. Another $100 out the window. Wizz Air sucks, for the record, but God knows I’ll fly them again if I have to.

Germany: Went to Berlin (THIRD TIME) with Ryan for the day for the Lady Gaga concert. I’d tell you about the concert if I remembered any of it, but I don’t, so I’ll leave it at that. Forgot my camera battery in Prague so had the joyful experience of buying a new one at my handy electronics store at Potsdamer Platz. It was rainy and cold and I was dressed for weather that was 10 degrees warmer so it wasn’t a fantastic trip, but I made it to the villa at Wannsee so I at least got some history-dork cred out of it.

Prague: The last few weeks were miserable due to the impending end of the semester. I was sick and overtired a lot, and the volcanic ash kept Prague in an eternal winter of 40 degrees and rain, so I was really unhappy. I chose to write papers for all of my classes instead of taking final exams, so I found myself living in the Globe or Gloria Jean’s. I wrote 50-something pages total for four classes… 10 for Witness to History on the assassination of Reinhard Heydrich, 18 for Classroom Europe on the German resistance under Hitler (8-10 pages were all that were required. I’m an overachiever, suck it), 7 for film that I really, honestly could not have cared less about, and 18 for Jewish history on anti-Jewish legislation in the Third Reich. To say that I’m exhausted now is the understatement of the century. Professor Holub, despite joking that I wrote a book, told me I should use my paper as the basis for my thesis so that was nice. It was refreshing to take history classes in which I actually learned something but UM wouldn’t be UM if I wasn’t outrageously frustrated by the crapiness of the history department.

Goodbyes sucked and I miss my friends immensely. The flight home was hellish because the night before I left, I suddenly came down with the Prague Plague and my (delayed) flight from Zurich to Miami consisted of me being too feverish/congested to read or watch TV, so I just listened to the same shitty music over and over again because I was too sick to work my iPod. I also thought I was going to get heat stroke with my sweatshirt on so I had the joyful experience of wearing a tacky Switzerland shirt I bought in Zurich. Everyone judged me. Damn you, classy Europeans. US customs also sucked because apparently I need to fill out 4,000 forms and then show them over and over again to different bitchy customs agents and apparently my baggage needs to be x-rayed because apparently I might be bringing in something sketchy from Central fucking Europe. Yeah, all that Czech garnet really needs to be declared. Suck it, Homeland Security. YEAH, I SAID IT. $20 says I’m now on the TSA watch list for that.

Coral Springs is outrageously boring and I’m beyond broke and still a little sick. I’m going back to Prague for summer session in t-minus 24 days but it won’t be the same without my friends. Maybe I’ll actually see the sun this time around? One can only hope.

Guess who's back, back again...

I realized I never actually updated about Berlin, part zwei, so here I go:

Friday: Five-hour bus ride. Own room at hostel. Walk to Reichstag; lose everyone accidentally by Brandenburg Gate so head to dinner and Potsdamer Platz. Drink heavily. H&M! Buy new iPod headphones, weep at price. DIRTY DANCING: DAS ORIGINAL. Best time of my life. Dance in seat. Keep drinking heavily. Walk to Bendlerblock for reflection/possible stroke of genius re: my research paper. Fail at having any divine inspiration. Walk to Brandenburg Gate for nighttime picture. Fail at finding TXL bus back to West Berlin to the hostel, have intense German lesson with adorable cab driver.

Saturday: Bus tour due to rain. Visit KaDeWe (German Harrod's), am shocked by prices. Go to Potsdamer Platz; take Samantha to Führerbunker and the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, buy book at Potsdamer Platz mall, eat too much sushi. Go to Checkpoint Charlie. Buy linen bag. Take long route back with Ambassador Holub & co.; group starts to drop like flies. Make it to Bebelplatz FINALLY. See infamous plaque. Visit St. Hedwig's Cathedral. Go to Galeries Lafayette, do not purchase Longchamp despite advantage price with Euro. Visit 4,238 bookstores. Refrain from purchasing books. Go to Film Museum back at Potsdamer Platz; purchase new book. Dinner. Wine. Wine. Wine. Wine. Wine. Old Jewish Cemetery and Neue Synagogue; Alexanderplatz! Hostel.

Sunday: Tour of Cecilienhof Palace; do not pose for picture a la Truman/Churchill/Stalin. See Wannsee on way to Potsdam. Dresden! Am depressed by Dresden. Home.

Long story short: I adore Berlin and will move there someday. Really. It will happen. Am going back for Lady Gaga on May 11, may purchase apartment then. Meanwhile, I go to Scandinavia for my Easter spectacular tomorrow night. Wish me luck, dear readers.

"Mein Baby gehört zu mir, ist das klar?"

So clearly I'm a glutton for punishment as I went to go see Dirty Dancing: Das Original Live On Stage tonight in Berlin at the Theater am Potsdamer Platz. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson with foreign-language plays (I'm still traumatized by A Doll's House in Paris) but no, I booked a ticket for Dirty Dancing and here I am, now a veteran of the German musical.

It was absolutely fabulous.

The difference is that, well, the first play I saw was by Henrik freaking Ibsen, and I had never read it or seen it so I was miserable and tired and lost. This, while no Sondheim show, was Dirty Dancing: Das Movie verbatim, and for that I am eternally grateful. Literally word for word (translated), scene for scene, it was exactly the same. Maybe two songs of fifteen were in German. The dialogue was in German but the songs were all in English (clearly learned phonetically by some cast members). I was outrageously drunk, and thus, it was the most incredible time. Part of the reason is because I bought overpriced Riesling but I had factored that requirement into the show-going experience.

It was actually better seeing a show in German because I was pleasantly surprised by how much I understood, whereas in France I was just bitter and disappointed that my A in French 101 didn't let me understand Audrey Tatou doing Ibsen. Also, too bad that the actor playing Johnny was a Teutonic, gayer Cheyenne Jackson with tighter pants and was wholly unbelievable in the role, but whatever. It was DIRTY DANCING: DAS ORIGINAL. I loved every ridiculous second of it. I still love Berlin. ICH BIN EINE BERLINER. I love this city.

Ich bin ein day tripper.

So Tory's been here for almost five days and I've been doing all the touristy things with him that I've been putting off for the past six weeks. We've been to the top of Petrin Hill on Klaus' disco funicular, explored Prague Castle, basically moved into the Globe for brunch and happy hour purposes, went to the malls repeatedly, finally saw Nine together, found another English-language bookstore, crossed the Charles Bridge, saw the Lennon Wall, enjoyed Malostranská, and visited the Kafka Museum.

We ran out of stuff to do by Wednesday.

Hence why I dragged him, slightly kicking and screaming, across the border to Berlin for what is coming to be known as Klaus' disco day trip. Took a bus that left at 11:55 Wednesday night and arrived just before 5 a.m. on Thursday. We went pretty much non-stop at that point and honestly, I think I'm out of stuff to do in Berlin. Considering we were physically in Berlin for all of 14.5 hours, I think we did a pretty admirable job. I've turned seeing a week's worth of stuff in a day or two into an art form.

We took the U-bahn in from the bus station, made it to Alexanderplatz, realized that nothing would be open at 5 a.m. and thusly headed to the Hauptbahnhof. Had a lovely breakfast at McDonald's, the only place open, and booked our tickets home in broken German. From there we took the LONG way (unknowingly) to the Brandenburg Gate. The Brandenburg Gate is way smaller than I had pictured it to be, but it's right next to the U.S. Embassy and we briefly considered going in and asking for a map. Consular services have been extended to help quasi-backpackers.

We kind of stumbled upon the Reichstag accidentally and just beat the line to go up into the weird, modern dome on top. The audio guide, dubbed Sir Lee, gave us a fairly thorough explanation of the landmarks visible from the dome but literally as we were leaving the line had tripled ten-fold. This still doesn't top the line that we passed on our way back to the train station in the evening where it looked like it was about to go off the Reichstag's property, but it was pretty epic.

We found our way to the Holocaust memorial, which is more or less a bunch of stone cubes of various sizes and, of course, very much open to interpretation. Berlin, like Munich, certainly isn't trying to hide its role in the Holocaust; in fact, by the philharmonic, there is a sign and very large plaque regarding the fact that the T4 Aktion murders took place on that spot. The spot of Hitler's bunker was near there so we found our way and it's just a large parking lot with yet another plaque. Must be weird to park your BMW or live in what I'm sure is prime real estate over Hitler's bunker, but that's the charm (?) of Germany, I guess.

We wandered down Unter den Linden to Bebelplatz, where the first major book burning occurred in 1933 (and upon doing further research, we didn't actually go into the actual platz, so no points to me or Tory). We went from there over the river and through the rest of Berlin where we made it to Alexanderplatz and then decided to go to Wombat's, pretend we were staying there and jack a free map or two. Our diabolical scheme worked and I got the most amazing falafel since Israel. Point one, Germany.

We went to Checkpoint Charlie (so touristy), the Topography of Terror (an open-air museum that shows the locations and functions of every Nazi-era building), and then Tory hung at Starbucks to rest while I wandered over to the Jewish Museum. Unlike Munich's this one is epic and HUGE, and, true to form, packed with obnoxious Italian tourists whom I just can't seem to escape. The museum didn't really teach me anything new but it was interesting and, of course, I left with two new books. I wanted to make it to the Stasi Museum too but it was way too far east to make it there on our epic day trip, so that's for another time. No going that far into the former USSR.

At this point it was only 2 p.m. and I was almost done with my list. We went over to what was once the Jewish quarter and saw the Neue Synagogue (beautiful) and the destroyed Jewish cemetary (not beautiful). The only graves the Nazis left were those of Moses Mendelssohn and the few tombstones that were really stuck to the wall, so it was kind of haunting. It looks like a small, very green park now.

From there I dragged Tory to the other side of the Tiergarten because I wasn't leaving Berlin without seeing the Bendlerblock, from where the July 20th plot on Hitler's life was attempted. I'm a big fan of the movie Valkyrie (no judgment) and I'm actually writing a research paper on the German resistance so naturally I had to visit the German resistance memorial. This was the one museum without English explanations so we wandered aimlessly for a few minutes before realizing we could get a free English audio guide. Win. It was very interesting and I'm glad I went, especially as I probably wouldn't have been able to make it there next weekend when I'm back with the group. Tory deserves a gold star for putting up with all of my history-major dorkiness for the day.

We went to dinner (strudel was involved) and then nearly missed our train because the fast food workers decided to take their sweet time when we had a train to be on in five minutes but all was well. We jumped onto the first train, thought two couchettes were ours, rejoiced, and then were kicked out when it was determined that it wasn't our car. I hadn't actually thought that we'd be getting breakfast with our 39 euro tickets but it was nice for a few minutes.

We wandered the length of five cars and then finally found our compartment. It was empty except for this THING covered by a sheet, and words really can't do it justice but we seriously thought it was a person for the longest time and were so freaked out and tried to switch our compartment and it was terrifying and ridiculous. The only way it can be explained is by saying it's like someone rigged an elaborate bed sheet-tent and went catatonic afterward. The Deutsche Bahn employee was freaked out too but she eventually determined that it was just a bike underneath. Crisis averted. Of course, the humorless Czech conductor who took over at the border did not appreciate it the same way she did and I don't think he believed us when we said it wasn't ours.


This is the blob. We were terrified.

It took about an hour to get home from the sketchy train station. This trip included coach bus, smelly Prague bus, tram, transcontinental train, taxi, underground, overground, and basically everything but rocket-powered jet pack. But we survived. Ich bin ein Berliner and all that jazz.

Next week in Berlin (as I am going back with school): DIRTY DANCING: DAS ORIGINAL MUSICAL. I have no idea if it's in German or English but it doesn't matter anyway as there's no way I'll be sober for it. There are no words for my excitement.

Munich for Aliens

Stephanie and I went to Germany this weekend, in particular, Munich and Füssen. I can't stress enough how beautiful Germany is- really, I've never seen a place like it. First of all, it's light-years ahead of the Czech Republic in terms of infrastructure; crossing the border via bus was like seeing the Iron Curtain fall. Borders are such an arbitrary thing but it was like a whole new world once we entered Germany. After two weeks trying to get used to Prague, it was a nice vacation from the former Soviet bloc.

We took an overnight bus that left midnight on Friday, getting us into Munich at around 6 on Saturday and got to kill time before we decided to try to find the hostel. Turns out that we were literally a minute from the hostel (right by the central train station, Hauptbahhof) and 10 minutes from Marienplatz, the city center, so we got to explore a bit before heading to Füssen to see Neuschwanstein Castle.

Neuschwanstein was a two-hour train ride away but it was SO worth it because this castle is literally the castle of my dreams. It's in the German Alps and was the inspiration for Cinderella's castle, so despite the uphill walk (no buses because of snow) and major schlep into the countryside, it was totally worth it because the castle is really as beautiful as you'd think it would be. We didn't go inside but I know I'll go back someday. I'd dreamed of seeing the castle in person for quite some time so I really can't explain how it made me feel.

Stephanie and I got free welcome drinks from the hostel (by the way, if any of my darling readers are going to Munich, Berlin or Vienna in the future, STAY AT WOMBAT'S) and we started taking advantage of happy hour a bit too much, but at least we were warm as we wandered around Munich. Went back to Marienplatz, wandered aimlessly around from store to store, and then tried to find Prinz Myshkin, this vegetarian restaurant I had read about. It took a few missed turns and a lot of asking for help (people even offered right off the bad- did we really look that lost/American?) but eventually we found it and, um, best restaurant of my life. Really. They even have tap water, which is outrageously rare in Europe.

From there we went on to find the Hofbräuhaus, which is where Hitler declared the theses of the Nazi Party and so on and so forth. Really huge, REALLY German, and totally packed-- thanks, football game. We tried to find a spot at the Hard Rock but that was completely packed too, so we gave up and headed back to the hostel, which, luckily, had a bar and cheap drinks... REALLY cheap drinks. We met a ton of guys from Germany and Spain but sadly no Brits.

On Sunday, Stephanie and I headed to the Olympic stadium where I gave her an impromptu, slightly bastardized history lesson on the hostage crisis of the '72 Olympics. We saw the stadium (so much smaller in person than you'd think it would be) and then the Olympic Village where the crisis actually happened. We ran back to the hostel to try to catch the 11 a.m. walking tour which - surprise! - had been canceled. We hustled off to Dachau with the intent of making it back in time for the 1 p.m. tour. Of course, that was a bust.

Dachau was particularly weird. The weather was fittingly horrible but not in the way that it was during Majdanek. Dachau was just white and bleak and terrible, not in a melodramatic way that Majdanek was but in a very eerie, very realistic way. We didn't get to see the museum or the film, but we walked around the camp. Visiting a concentration camp is never easy, but Dachau was particularly bad in that respect. Seeing the crematorium was really, really rough in a way that again I can't explain. It provoked a really visceral reaction, chills, discomfort, the whole nine yards. I also felt extremely uncomfortable riding on the train to Dachau; I guess I was thinking of the thousands of others who didn't really have a choice about going.

I got to play with a dog, though. That was a plus.

After that, we went back to Marienplatz with the intent of going to the huge bookstore and using their guide books to plan our own walking tour. What we didn't know is that all retail establishments in the south of Germany are closed on Sundays, even in a large city like Munich.

What we also didn't know was that Carnival (or "Fasching," in German) is HUGE in Munich. Everyone in Marienplatz was wearing costumes and throwing confetti and it was a humongous, unexpected party with bands and drum lines and concerts and a million and one food carts. I'm going to steal the description from a different site: "One of the biggest events of the season is Mad Munich ('Munchen Harrisch') on the last Sunday before Shrove Tuesday. During the celebrations thousands of dancers and revellers in fancy dress make their way through the streets to Marienplatz where there are several stages as well as numerous food and drink stalls." It was really amazing to see, especially because we had no idea it was going on and because I wasn't able to get to Venice for Carnevale as I had originally planned. It was amazing to see the normally reserved Germans just running around in costumes.

From there we started trying to hustle and do touristy things, especially as it was our second and final day in Germany. We found the Jewish Museum, which I did alone (Stephanie was really budget-conscious), and it was a really weird experience. It's a very small museum that doesn't feature much in the way of artifacts, and I thought that was weird until a sign explained why (and I feel stupid for not remembering): Hitler & co. destroyed everything during the Holocaust. Duh. The museum also explained different facets of Judaism in museum form - explanations of Shabbat and holidays and so on - so to realize that I was likely one of the few Jewish visitors it was seeing was odd and cool simultaneously.

We headed to Odeonplatz afterward, where we saw the Residenz (a massive palace complex), the National Theatre (really beautiful) and Feldhernhalle, where Hitler held a ton of rallies. Germany is very good about preserving its history, even the really dark parts- relics of World War II are all over the place if you know where to look. From there we went to Konigsplatz (couldn't find what I was looking for) and back to the Hofbräuhaus, where, lo and behold, we got a table! I still can't drink beer for the life of me, but we got strudel and gigantic pretzels. Very Teutonic of us, wish I had been wearing a dirndl as I ate there.

To be honest, I really miss Munich. It was blended history and modernism very well and was clean, spacious, and efficient. It's hard to be back in Prague, which I certainly like and think is beautiful, but I find Prague very frustrating at times-- the timely but slow public transportation system, the language barrier, the feeling of being cramped, the closure of everything around 8 p.m., etc. I guess traveling agrees with me more than being stuck in one place.

There will be pictures soon, I swear.