I’m going to be as blunt as humanly possible. Copenhagen is a beautiful, beautiful city; Denmark is an impossibly gorgeous country. But I swear to fucking God, I’ve never been so excited to leave a fucking place as I am to leave Denmark. This is the first city I’ve been to that I’ve given no thought to regarding moving here in the future.
It’s not because everyone is blond and I think Urban Outfitters got a government contract to dress the entire country and thus this is the most hipster-tastic place I’ve ever seen. It’s not because I’m traveling by myself, which is incredibly liberating and actually quite nice. It’s because I’ve never, ever been to such an expensive place in my life. I’m weeping for the Euro. I’m dying for the British pound. I CANNOT AFFORD TO BREATHE HERE. This is why, after much deliberation and crying in the handbag department of the Danish Harrod’s, I’m cutting short this Scandinavian adventure. I’m NOT going to Oslo tonight. I’m spending one more night in this Godforsaken city and then going back to where I can afford shit. $7 for a coffee is not okay. $25 for a one-day transportation pass is not okay. I won’t even provide figures for the bookstore and for Urban Outfitters because those will shock and astound even the most hardened of travelers. This is my punishment for something, somewhere that I did. I paid $4 for a bottle of soda before. $6 for the breakfast meal at McDonald’s. God forbid I want a veggie burger at Burger King because that will cost me far, far too much.
So yeah, no Norway tonight. I’m a little disappointed but between not feeling well and being traumatized by Scandinavia, I’m spending one more night, probably sleeping or drinking my glass of straight Cointreau (it’s that kind of day), I can’t go on. I said to the cashier at the bookstore that I had never seen such an expensive country before. She just laughed and said “don’t go to Norway.” WELL, FUCK. I WAS GOING TO NORWAY. But I’ve decimated my finances and honestly, simply eating for two days in Oslo at their lower-end establishments will put me in the red for months to come. Nothing will be open anyway. Fuck.
Anyway, Copenhagen is gorgeous and right on the water (so therefore FREEZING) and I went on two day trips to Hamlet’s castle at Helsingor and then to the Viking Ship Museum at Roskilde so I got out of here and then I walked everywhere else but fuck, I can’t wait to be back in Prague. Copenhagen was actually my back-up city for study abroad and I can’t imagine living here – I’d be bored to death and broke on day two.
I walked around on Thursday with my Portuguese roommate; I saw the Latin Quarter and Stroget, the main shopping area (oh, the entire city was closed Thursday and Friday as kind of a practice for Easter), and I went to Christianshavn and saw what should have been the hippie commune but I guess they take off the workdays before Easter too, so it was essentially me, the hipsters, and the two 7-11 stores on every block. It rained. I froze. I saw “The Ghostwriter” for $17 and loved it. Tivoli is closed for the season. I hate Copenhagen.
Friday: I went to Helsingor and saw Kronborg Castle, which was cool, and came back. Went to the Danish Resistance Museum (very cool), walked to where the Little Mermaid statue should have been but, oh wait, it’s in Shanghai for the World Expo, went to Amalienborg, saw where Hans Christian Andersen lived, went to the Jewish Museum, walked by the Royal Library, read for two hours in a coffee shop after spending $5 for espresso, and went to see “Green Zone” for, oh wait, $19. I still hate Copenhagen.
Today: I checked out early, decided to go to Roskilde (20 minutes outside Copenhagen) to see the Viking Ship Museum, was impressed by the ships, and oh hey, Roskilde is a suburban backwater so the bus to the train station came once every hour and I had just missed it. I walked back and forth between the two bus stops hoping that one would come later in the hour, but no, I was stuck until 12:11 at the earliest. This was 11:15. I was stuck in some horrible Nordic nightmare that I couldn’t escape. Finally made it back to Copenhagen and nearly wept when I saw someone with an Urban Outfitters bag. Spent $20 on a new book because I killed all my reading material. Nearly vomited when I saw how Urban Outfitters marked up their prices. Ate fantastic falafel. Proceeded to call my mom, wept over my migraine and the fact that I had 70 hours left of this little mini-break, and decided to cut it short because if I can’t afford Copenhagen, there was no fucking way on earth that I’d emerge with a credit limit in Oslo. This made me miss Malmo extensively because while the Swedish kronor was terrible against the dollar, it wasn’t as bad as Denmark. I actually really enjoyed Malmo – sure, I was bored after 20 minutes of walking and the highlight of my time there was my trip to H&M but it was beautiful and quaint and Sweden is way more likable than Denmark for whatever reason.
Anyway. Plans have changed and I frankly can’t handle another two days of traveling between my actual physical state (unending migraine that the Cointreau probably isn’t helping) and my financial trauma, so it’s Copenhagen for the night and back to Prague tomorrow. I might hug someone with a mullet just for comfort’s sake. It’s been real, Denmark, but I’ll see you in hell.
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